Jesus, You there?

Hey Jesus it's me again...
Did you forget that I'm here?
Do you not see the pain in my eyes
and the tears that I cry?

Why do you fill my path
with liars, manipulators, users...
Why am I led to alcholics, drug abusers...
Anxiety, control issues, eating disorders,
depression, insecurity,
they all have problems worse than me.

Why do I want to save them?
Why do all my prayers go their needs.
Why do I try to believe
when there's nothing there
in which to believe?

Why do I feel so weak
powerless, hopeless...
Why do I always feel
that I'm not good enough
despite all that I've come to be.

I've determined that you're punishing me
by putting my life in a constant state of repeat.
Is it true I'm being punished
for an enormous mistake
one I still cannot percieve.

If God is love
does he not exist...
Just as love does not exist
for me...