Where's the answers?

Feels like I'm missing out on so much in life...

There comes a point in time where I've become so sick of being just another slave to the wage. My love for money and my youthful exuberance have become conflicted. I want to go out do things, see awesome shows, eat delicious food, dance at the hottest spots however doing those things requires the funds provided by working the outrageous hours that I have been. I work so I can have nice things and have fun yet I work to the extent that I am not allowed adequate time to enjoy such luxuries.

I've found myself in a sense of conflict in so many aspects of my life. There's points at which I want to shut myself off from everyone. But even less often, there's points at which I desire to draw myself closer to others. I've learned to appreciate solitude even when sitting here alone seems like one of the hardest things to do.

I learned the hard way that sometimes the things you do to make yourself happy turn out to be things that make you even more miserable than you were before. I always find myself in situations where I have what I want however I am unsatisfied with that which I have obtained or even that I find it wasn't as fulfilling as I hoped it to be. I find myself too often getting to where I want to be then taking a huge step in the opposite direction. I work so hard for what I have: my success, my independence, my wisdom, my intelligence to lose it all at the blink of an eye.

Maybe I'm looking for some kind of epiphany. Like those moments of clarity I experience after its too late and I've already become victim to yet another mistake. Answers are not free, they have their price.
I only wonder what price I will have pay this time to uncover whatever lesson it is I am to learn...