Cosmo fail

We all know I'm really, really bored when I start reading Cosmo. Besides, I'm a bit scared to watch this week's episode of Ghost Hunters. The "Real Housewives" were featured as a guest host and I know that I'm gonna go mad the minute I see one of them hitting on Steve.

I also decided that I need a new spot to find some pleasantly plump hotties. It's time to switch it up from something other than the coffee isle at the supermarket. And just because I don't date anymore doesn't mean I couldn't use some eye candy now and then. I was hoping to find some useful information from this article:
Where could Carlie prowl?

I found their first pick to be amusing: The Apple Store. Oh brother... I did that and I ended up spending quite a bit of money. Coffee is much more inexpensive.

#2 The gym: I doubt that any man would be attracted to my "athetic abilities." Moreso, they'd be disgusted by how out of shape I am.

#3 Forture 500/Tech company: Sounds like something I'd do. Unfortunately southwest Kansas isn't exactly the hot spot for Fortune 500 companies. Closest I get to a tech company is lurking Best Buy. That hasn't worked out for me too well. You try standing in the PC department and listen to them talk about all the great new features of Windows 7. Then after they're done say "I'm a Mac" and watch them run in the opposite direction! (Oh wait, I get pleasure out of doing that...)

#4 A Political Rally: I hate talking politics... I'd rather go to a ballgame than go to a political event. And you know how much I looooove sports. Blech. "So how about them Yankees..."

#5 Sports bar on Sunday/Monday night: No such luck with this one either. But the local sports bar does have Stella Artois so it's not a complete fail afterall.

#6 Boston, Paradice NV, Jacksonville NC: Nevada is too hot, I hate southern accents, the only place that I may actually like is Boston. As a matter of fact, I did enjoy my stay in Boston. Better start packing right away...*sarcasm*

#7 Volleyball league: If a dude is playing volleyball I can already tell you that he's going to be too thin for my likes. I'd be more apt for finding someone on a hockey team. I'll just have to be sure that he has awesome dental coverage at his day job...

#8 Coffee shop: The times I've been to the coffee shop here there's only been eldery women there. Now that I think about it, I'd have more luck finding someone if I went at around 8am when the men in suits are on their way to work. Then again no guy, suit or not, is worthy of me getting out of bed early.

#9 Rock climbing center: What's with all the physical activities? I think they want me to end up seriously injured... I'm a nerd, not an athlete.

#10 A steak house: If I'm eating at a steak house, the last thing on my mind is a guy. *drool* Om nom nom nom prime rib...

I'm pretty much back to square one even after this list. Granted, my expectations were were rock bottom beforehand... Back to the coffee isle it is...

Thanks Giving

I've noticed that everyone is posting their "I'm thankful for" statuses on Facebook. I also noticed that It's been awhile since I've posted a blog. So I put one and two together and decided that I would make a blog about the things that I am thankful for...But knowing me, I have to put a twist on it... I hope you all get the sarcasm.

Apple- For creating the best products in the world! Please don't go out of business or else I will have a lifelong reminder of a company that failed...
Ghost Hunters- I would have never been introduced to my soulmate Steve Gonsalves if it wasn't for this show.
My baby (my car)- For making me look good... We all know without it, I'm nerdy as hell...
The Internet- without the internet I would be extremely bored or, in fact, spend my free time doing something more productive. Now who would want to do something like that...
Coffee- I would be faceplanted on my keyboard right now if it wasn't for you. You keep me awake and alert, even at times I should be asleep.
My jobs- One job pays the bills, one fuels my eBay addiction...And the other "Jobs" makes me delicious kool-aid and seduces me with shiny gadges...
eBay - Like my ex-boyfriends, you get all my money...however, unlike them, I actually get something in return.
Grey Goose- Not only do you provide for epic amounts of entertainment, you counteract the effect of all the coffee. Love the goose...
Chunky blondes - for giving me eye candy. Mmmmm
Electronic music- I could be having the most horrible day, but the minute I get home, turn off all the lights and put on some dubstep life becomes so much better.
Trent Reznor- Thanks for getting married so I don't feel like a creeper anymore for lusting after a guy that's old enough to be my father...
Katy Perry- Thanks for being a bimbo with big boobs. Now guys actually think my style is hot...
P.C.- for your flaws, malfunctions, and failing Operating Systems... They give me many job opportunities as well as endless job security.


Ok, now on a more serious note:

Family- For supporting my goals and raising me to be a respectible, responsible person.
My friends- For creating many great memories with me. For putting up with me crying about boys after too many martinis. And for letting me be myself without judgement.
My health- Especially since I don't have health insurance at the moment...
Heartbreak- Because of it I discovered independence. I now know what is truly important in life. I realized that life can be just as (if not moreso) fulfilling and enjoyable without a partner.


So, I think that's it...
If I think of more later on I'll be sure to add them...

With that said, I hope everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving. Eat lots of turkey, green bean casserole, and pie... Make sure that you eat so much you pass out in a food coma so that I get all the Black Friday deals!! Muahahaha!!!

...

I was really upset and stressed.
I was going to write this long blog expressing my sentiments at this current moment.
But I put on some dubstep, and I kinda feel better...

I just try to make everyone happy.
And I have this constant fear that I'm not meeting other's expectations.
My life is spent turing molehills into mountains,
And building walls that I can barely climb.

The Great Destroyer

People seem to disappear from your life just as quicky as they enter it. One minute they are the closest person to you, next minute the most distant. I've become quite accostomed to not having people remain in my life for an extended period of time. Therefore I cherish the friends who have become a facet in my life.
Looking back I wonder what would have happened if I had silenced the words. Bit my tongue and not given in to the inane emotions that dwelled inside. Even moreso lately I contemplate how I could have avoided destruction knowing what I know now and believe in the ideas I have adopted. I would not have experienced loss. I would not be sitting here right now wishing I had him as a friend and confidant, having a conversation, sharing a thought, a laugh, and a smile.

Emotions destroy.

They make intelligent people appear to be fools. They send you from the highest mountain crashing into the deepest sea. They work like a chain reaction, building one upon the other until combustion occurs. Hopefulness to happiness, happiness to adoration, adoration to disappointment, disappointment to sadness, sadness to anger. But unlike most chemical reactions this results in no product, nor does it create any fulfillment. Self actualization based on knowledge is that which creates fulfillment, not radical impulses based on emotion. Factual reality based claims are far more viable than claims based on emotional experiences. It is a fact that smoking relieves stress, and it is also a fact that smoking damages your health; an example of an emotional versus intellectual fact. It is a fact that emotions are soley a product of an interaction with an external stimulus creating several chemical reactions in the brain. Yet, we put so much value on these emotions. Why do we act out irrationally knowing that we will not acheive the desired outcome?

Our ability to make decisions is dependent upon remembering and identifying similar situations. When dealing with decisions that provoke emotion our cognitive abilities often become clouded with delusions of grandeur also known as the illusion-of-truth effect. It causes us to view an idea as being true even if we know the idea has been verified to be false. This effect occurs due to implicit memory. Our mind creates several types of memories, explicit and implicit being the two types that are generally associated with emotion. Implicit memories do not require conscious awareness of previous experiences, whereas explicit memories necessitate a conscious awareness of experience and knowledge. As a result, explicit memories involve higher brain functions which demand more time to process. Often certain stimuli, a certain word, event, or action, are necessary for the memory to occur. If the stimulus is not present, we may not consciously recognize a consequence involved in the action. Thus, the reason why we make these irrational decisions.

With that said, I do not ask anyone to adopt my theories and beliefs. If believing in love is what gets you through your day then more power to you. But just as I do not ask that you adopt my beliefs I do not feel it necessary for those who do not understand to try to "save" me from my thoughts. I refuse to cry out in vain feeling sorry for myself, I picked myself up, embraced the truth, and began to view the world with a realistic but also positive outlook.

It was easier letting go than holding on to dreams...

Update

Update time *drum roll!!!*
I haven't had much time to talk to everyone lately, that and I've actually been going to bed before 6am.

For those of you who didn't know yet, I'm back working at Mike's... Let's just say I was given the right offer at the right time and chose to take it. I never imagined I would find myself waiting tables again but you know how that saying goes "never say never." I said I'd never go back and look at what happened. So why'd I decide to return? There's a couple reasons. The first one being is that I was bored. I'd sleep until around 3pm everyday, go to work, then come home and go to bed again. Not only was I bored but I was isolated. Don't get me wrong, I think isolation is a beautiful thing; those who can embrace it are the strongest of people but what scared me is that I enjoyed it too much. It was as if I was living in my own little world, detached from everyone else. And lastly, I'm greedy... Very greedy.

So far it's been a pleasant experience. Honestly, it feels like I never left. I have yet to decide if that is a good or a bad thing.

As for my IT job, I couldn't be more content, unless if I was making $50 an hour, of course... And I finally conquered making a javascript dropdown menu. When I figured it out I felt pretty dumb for spending so much time struggling with it.

I decided I need a boyfriend...
....
...
...
Not because my icy heart has thawed and I feel the need for male companionship, rather because winter is approaching and I'm not exactly looking forward to driving my car through the treacherous tundra of Kansas. A boyfriend with a four wheel drive automobile would completely solve that issue. Then, when spring comes I can dump him and return to the blissful single life.
Unfortunately realistically, I know this plan would not work. One: the guys I like usually a.) have a sports car b.) don't have a car at all. Two: With my luck I'd be stuck at work because he would either forget about me or not even care enough to make sure I made it home safely.
Brilliant plan. Fail.


Ah look who it is:



It's Paris Hilton... Now is it just me, or does it look like she's put on a couple of pounds... Not saying she's fat by any means, but she looks kinda normal here. Doesn't have that "i live off of air and water" look going on. Props. I just hope she doesn't get that Nicki Minaj look going on... *blech*

Awwwww...

This picture gave me butterflies...

Boyfriends and Coca-Cola

I've never been a big soda drinker. Most of the times I don't drink it at all, but once every other blue moon I get an odd craving for it. Especially like right now at 3am, while I was sitting here watching "Knocked Up" thinking to myself: "Wow, I really want a Coke right now." So I decide to give in and drink one. It was after a couple sips that I thought of this:

Boyfriends are like soda. You think you want one, but then after only a couple drinks you realize you weren't missing anything and wonder why it was you wanted one in the first place...Then when it's all gone you're left with a headache and a bad taste in your mouth...

So from now on every time I get to thinking that I want to start dating again, I'll just drink a Coke. I'm pretty sure I'll get more out of the Coke anyway...

Dry Your Eyes, Soulmates Never Die

Here's a short post to keep everyone entertained while I'm in the process of writing the big kahuna blog on my theory of love. Hopefully it will be posted sometime early next week...

"Soulmate" is a word that I find to be overused and misconstrued. We usually deem a soulmate to be someone we meet based on happenstance, usually under unexpected circumstances. Someone who meets our expectations of physical appearance and general affect. We often hear elderly couples explain the success of their 50, 60, 70 year marriages simply by "I found my one true soulmate." I have even found myself, mistakingly, using the term a time or two.

The term soulmate originated from Greek mythology. In Plato's "Symposium" humans were described as having four legs, four arms, and a single head with two faces. Zeus feared their power therefore splitting them in half to reduce their strength. These beings then walked the earth searching for their other half. Sure, this may seem a little far-fetched but then why do people still focus their lives on finding one person who "completes" them?

I cannot gather myself to believe that out of the billions of people living on this earth that there is only one person with whom we are compatible. If you are to believe this, who is to say that your "soulmate" isn't in China right now. What is this magical force that will bring the two of you together?

I know someday Steve is going to come riding up on a unicorn with that pot of gold I've been looking for... But until that happens, "soulmate" will just be another word I casually toss around for the next hot guy I see in the coffee isle.

And it makes for a killer Placebo song...


Edit: If anyone has any suggestions for topics or issues you'd like me to discuss feel more than welcome to share. Provoke my mind if you must! (Trust me, I like it :-p) I appreciate everyone's input and feedback :-)

Save that thought...

I was gonna write but the new ghost hunters episode is already uploaded tonight...
Gonna have to save that thought for tomorrow!


...And is it just me or is Steve looking a bit thinner?
I don't like this one bit!
I must get him lots of cheeseburgers, pizza, chocolate cake, and beer.

No thin man is a man of mine...
:-)