Website Advice Fail...

As we all know, I have a terrible time figuring out when guys actually like me. It's been quite a problem of mine for a very long time. Years will pass and the certain guy will tell me "I used to think you were so cute. I always wondered why we never hung out." Of course, most of the time I discover this after it is too late to pursue any kind of love interest. So tonight I decided that this was the opportune time to read up on body language. Since most [straight] men aren't about going to tell me if they are interested in me or not, and I'm not about to start talking feelings anytime soon. How else am I supposed to figure out such mysteries...

Upon my reading I stumbled upon this sad material in the internets.
How to Become a Player
So the first thing that comes to my mind when I see the title of the page is: "If you have to read up on how to be a player on the internet you are definitely not a player. In fact, I may just be more of a player than you...

I always enjoy a good laugh so I keep reading this website. Like all chauvinistic male articles this one also advises men to avoid calling his lady friend the day after their date/encounter, best to wait at least 3 days. I don't know how many countless times I've heard/seen this horrible advice. Their reason for not calling the lady being it makes the male look desperate or bored. According to this women like guys that keep busy. There are many flawed things about this advice. If a guy I like waits 3 days to talk to me I assume that he didn't like me so therefore I move on. I have bigger fish to fry than wait for a guy to call me. I'll start the prowl all over again to find another one. Secondly, if a guy appears to be busy I'm going to assume that he has no time to pursue a relationship. I'm not a needy person, but why get involved with a woman if you do not have, or do not want to make the time, to devote to such relationship. I've been with those "busy" types before. Most of the time they were sitting at home playing video games or going out to the bar with friends. If that's what you consider "busy," I'm sorry, you have a very pathetic life.

Another thing it says is that if a woman offers to buy a guy a drink the guy can say that he's never drank before. In their perspective the woman will find this to be appealing to break the man's "alcohol virginity." If a grown man tells me he's never drank before I'm automatically turned off. I drink, I like to drink, I like to get drunk. I see nothing wrong with that, nor do I want another male judging me because I do drink. Not only that, but I automatically think that he's really immature or a prude. Neither of which I desire. Are we 15 here guys??

Nicknames will always be the death of me. I hate being called them, "beautiful," "sexy," "baby," if you call me a nickname, to me, you are automatically a douche who is trying way too hard. And for some reason, I don't trust people who chose to give me a nickname. I'm not "beautiful," why lie to my face... I wasn't comfortable with even my ex calling me "babe" until about after about 2 years. Even then when he did I always thought "You're calling me babe, you must want to get laid..." If you insist on giving me a nickname at least be creative...

Here comes the tricky part. This site mentions a great deal about taking ladies out to dinner. Now, when a guy asks me out to dinner I'm going to assume that he wants a chance to get to know me. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Ha, you're such a fool, if a guy asks you to dinner he's already making plans to get you back to his bedroom." What I do not understand is why a guy would want to take all that initiative to get into my undergarments. On the other hand, if a guy asks me "Want to come over and watch some movies?" I automatically know that he does not want to "watch movies" as it does not take two people to watch a movie... What I have always told guys is to make your intentions clear. If you want a relationship make that clear, and if you only want a casual thing let it be known. If you're interested in me don't say that you want my ass and take me home then get butthurt when I don't talk to you the next day. Or vice versa, by saying that you're interested and then blow me off when I ask when you want to meet up again... Lying does not make you more of a "player," it just makes you a deceiving asshole...

And the last point I'm going to rant on, even though I could go on about this all night. This website even goes into detail about what "players" should wear when trying to pick up ladies. "Stuff that 'bad boys' are expected to wear, you know... the guys that all women are uncontrollably attracted to. Wear these clothes and you'll get laid twice as often, if not more." Then it has an array of Ed Hardy shirts displayed. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Ed Hardy. It's like trailer park chic, but if I'm out on a date or at a club, that's the last thing I'm going to be wearing. As for the guys, if you're wearing Ed Hardy you are not a bad boy. You are a guy that tries way too hard to follow trends... Bad boys wear leather and doc martens... Me, even though my image may tell you differently, I prefer a well-dressed/well-kept guy. Guys in suits are like kryptonite to me...

So what is the moral of this post??
Don't take advice from dumb, poorly-designed websites. I'll give you better advice and you won't even have to pay me... I'll even guarantee that you have more luck taking a chick home than if you read that nonsense...

As for me figuring out about body language, as you can guess, I got totally distracted.
...Back to research...